I recently heard an interview on Radio National’s ‘All in the Mind’ about wisdom.  A panel of speakers had been gathered to share their reflections on the topic.  An excellent exploration unfolded on the nature of wisdom and within this the place of suffering was discussed.

Educationalist Edward de Bono (of the 6 hats fame), rather oddly suggested that the impact of suffering was like women wearing mascara.  He unpacked this seemingly rather patronising statement by saying that suffering, like mascara, highlighted the good bits.

Whilst I rarely wear mascara, and was at first taken aback by his comment, I warmed to his analogy.

In my own experience suffering has magnificently highlighted those things in life that are important, whilst at the same time significantly helping to put everything else into perspective.

In the most recent heavy suffering that I have endured- of watching our baby twins struggle for life and health after being born at 28 weeks, everything- what was important and what was not, came into sharp relief.

This continues.  After not being able to embrace our little ones as they lay in intensive care for what seemed like aeons, each embrace continues to be unspeakably precious.  Yes it is extremely busy, yes it is exhausting, but these things do not compare with the reality that could have been, of not having them here at all.

If we enter into suffering, if we allow ourselves to face it and express it, if we surrender to its flow- suffering can be an unbidden teacher.  I shed many a tear, I made pictures as I prayed, I wrote a great deal to help the sheer pressure of the pain out of my blood stream.

But I suspect there will always be an arrow shot through me. Maybe this is ok.  When I see or hear of other parents going through great suffering with their babies or little ones enduring difficult pain, a little of my heart bursts open again.

As the Christian Mystic Matthew Fox says:

‘Our nothingness experiences, are lessons in wisdom, preludes to compassion.  They put us in touch with the depths of others who also undergo the truth of nothingness of being…suffering can make our souls grow larger.’ The Coming of Cosmic Christ

There is no record of Jesus wearing mascara that I am aware of.  But in this One’s suffering the good bits are definitely highlighted.  Jesus radiates the kind of practical love that will not buy into the cycles of hate or envy that so dominate our culture. Jesus refuses to compete or put down or retaliate to other’s violence or toxicity.  In life, and most remarkably in death (and beyond) this One-Jesus, will not be shaped by what is ultimately not real or important.  Instead Jesus consistently exudes compassion.

And there is power in this for us- this is what resurrection is about.  A new way of being that is about liberation from all that is not important so that we can be more and more graced to live into the way of the ‘good bits’: wholeness and reconnection, empathic compassion and joy, inner peace and robust authenticity

Rev. Sally Douglas